Aangezien dit toch wel groot nieuws is en nieuws met een verhaal achter waar velen nog niets van afwisten, vind ik het wel de moeite om een nieuw topic te openen hierover.
)
Yeah, it's 100% true... Please be prepared for a huge tl;dr (I'm sorry!!!)
As I said, I'm not really going anywhere beyond "this point"... I've worked with all the top names, but there doesn't seem to be a real demand for "me", and what I've wanted all along is to be on stage. There was something that I had hoped would work out, but of course that came with a price... I've spent so much money doing this, and I've spent so long (5 years) doing this, that I no longer know what else to do. A few months ago a friend of mine died, he was also my music partner -- and it really caused me to think about life, and what I'm doing right now. I talked to some people who were very honest with me, and it basically amounted to: if nobody sees you as worth while to invest in/book by now, it's not going to happen even if you work another 5 years, or uproot my life and move all the way out there (only to return home defeated and in debt like some other internationals/expats), or spend another 20,000 dollars.
I'm doing it under a different name, not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed -- otherwise, I would have deleted all my accounts and not said a word... but really, because I always vowed/promised myself not to be "that type" of person who has to use her tits and body to get bookings in music or to promote myself in music. I wanted to "make it" just based on my talent and hard work... After all, in music, it really should be about that. I'd be really sad if the only reason I were to be booked for gigs, etc is due to some webcam porn whore career... we all know those things happen, so it's not like we can deny it.
With that said: webcamming, yes, it's a bit unorthodox... I do, however, have a good resume behind me (accounting, office manager, IT consulting, web development, some university, etc) but I find all of that boring and uninteresting. Webcam stuff is quick money, it's fun, and at the end of the day I basically get paid to do what I've been doing these last years for certain producers I worked with (minus the nudity/tits, of course).
Like I said in the other topic... you guys listen to the music with a full heart. You invest your time and energy and passion in to it... I don't feel that it's fair that I am only giving you half-assed/half a heart effort.
Sorry if I let any of you guys down. But I know there will some day be a person who will fill my shoes.
(Mods, als jullie vinden van niet, verwijder dan maarIf you have the equipment, it can be great part-time income... but when I started, not many people wanted to pay very much (if at all) for vocals. So it's only in the last year or so that I've made some consistent money, and that people are actually noticing that custom/exclusive vocals are important. However, the actual amount of money I made, vs how much I've had to spend (on upgrading equipment, traveling to Europe twice, and all expenses on my own) is waaay out of balance. Besides that, it's impossible to be "everywhere" or to do 10 tracks a month, or you sort of kill your career within 1 year... so like everybody else, to have a stable full-time income, your income would have to come from stage stuff/regular bookings/proper investment and touring.
That's what I pushed for and spent the last 1 - 2 years trying to get at. Now, I think it's too late for me and I think the other labels have something in mind for other vocalists. I'm happy I got to pave the way, though. At the end of it all, I was happy to not make money because I loved what I did. I have to admit, I really hated a lot of the drama though I think that was my tipping point... "I don't get paid enough to put up with this bullshit". I see a lot of other vocalists getting booked for the stage, and "ft" is almost normal now when you -collaborate- with a vocalist. On the one hand, I'm happy people are recognizing it in this scene. On the other hand, I sort of expected to be performing for a crowd of hardstylers, rather than a crowd of dirty old men. Kind of ironic!
Woops, another tl;dr... but thanks for the sweet words I'll be sure to post a wijfe pic for you guys one day, haha.
)
